Catastrophe and The Cure

Catastrophe- everything in my life thats going on right now. Its all in calamity and its a big jumbled mess.

The Cure- someone. I've never met anyone else like him before. He's sweet, caring, funny, and just overall flawless. Everytime I talk to him everything just leaves. My life goes back to being simple- live, love, and have fun. We have so much in common its really scary. Like pretty much close to everything. He is, no doubt, the cure in my life and his name will be.... Gaelic (its the origin of his name). 

I just thought that I should give a shoutout to him in the effort of him to smile when he reads this. We have the greatest talks... like about frag movies, reagular movies, and of course my psychicness that scared me more than it scared him lol that was funny and not to mention the shower race to see who coould take the quickest shower. Sounds lame but it was most definitely fun. No need to say who the winner was though lol ok so I could ramble on about him some more but I dont know if you guys like long posts or not. 

So me and Drake went to go see Drag Me to Hell after he got back from the parade. Lets just say that he is in no way a scary movie fan and gets freaked the freak out whenever I bring him to one haha and this one didnt help at all (for him). From the first scene he turned to me and said "Great, this is going to be a popping scene movie" "I really did hear what he said because he was whispering I and said "You want some poppy seeds?" lol. He laughed and said sarcastically "Yea about 5." Dont really know what that ment lol he can be weird sometimes but its fun because I can be weird sometimes too, dont worry you guys will see it soon enough.(sidenote: I found out what he said after the movie was over) So pretty much the whole time he has his head and hands burried into my shoulder (hes only 13) and only turning back to watch it when the scary music had left (you know the music that plays and you know that a scary part is going to come because scary movies are so unpredicatable lol). Well this one was very predictable but it was nonstop too. Like at least every scene had a poppy seed,  i mean popping scene lol So I would  say that the movie was decent. not great but entertaining. bad acting at times though. Throughout the movie i was getting skittles from his lap... well not so much his lap but a little further up if you catch my drift. at the end of the bag I could sware i was feeling his doodle (ok another sidenote: doodle is a hilarious word. I dont say it in my daily vocab but for here i think its appropiate. i use penis or something else but doodle is too funny.I blame AJ cuz reading his posts made me use it. doodle. lol just say it outloud) As they say on xPlay, I give drag me to hell, a whopping... 3... out of 5. yea im a nerd and watch g4 lol ok so after the movie had ending this one guy stands up and said in a brooklyn accent "I 'ont want no mo buttens and I'm gown give ol' people respek now." (i dont live in the city but about 30 miles away so theres a good amount of city people close to me. too bad i live in the 2nd safest district in the nation. gotta do some crimes in the 1st so we can become #1 lol) The way I wrote his quote can never give it the justice it derserves for how funny that was. And pretty much unless you saw the movie you wont understand what I'm saying. Me and Drake start cracking up so loud and for about 30 minutes of straight laughing. It was soooo funny lol i guess its one of those 'have to be there' moments but I thought i'd share it anyway. So I didnt talk to Drake about that night but we did have a ton of fun at the movies. 

I also have a BIG tennis tournament this weekend. theres 99 people in the tournament (why not just 1 more person is beyond me) so it starts off in the round of 128 with 29 people getting byes to the second round automatically. and for some reason I happen to be one of the byes. dont know how that happened but someone up there must like me (headquarters that is lol) so wish me luck on Saturday so I dont have to blame you guys if I loose :). And the thing is that I havent played a tourny is about 6 months do to injury and complications with my coach so my ranking has dropped a lot a lot so thats one reason im wondering how I got a bye, but ill take it. ok so when I mean big I mean this tourny is the tourny below nationals, where all the best in our nation compete. so this one is all the best in NY, NJ, and parts of CT. I really want to do well in this badly so I can get back on top. I miss playing tournys. well i shall see the outcome when it happens. 

oo i have a new closer. instead of c ya later. pyce. i though i would write pyce love and hugs instead. ok so tell me which one you like better

c ya latuh, pyce.

or c ya later, pyce love and hugs. 

drop me a comment to voice which one you like better. (for now ill just end with) adios compadres lol

Matrix Rampage/ Sleepover

Ok so I put up a game at the bottom of my page. I am a BIG Matrix fan for many reasons and I thought it would be fun to play a game on someones page. Please let me know if you like it or not. 

So now for the story. I went over to my teen (youth) leader for my church because we were having a make your own pizza night. I was of course sick so I didnt get to make any pizza but did drink a lot of coke. I must confess that I am a cock I mean coke-aholic :) Thats the first step to recovery, right? Anyway, I was just hanging out with my friends and their parents and one of my friends from the tennis team (yes, I play tennis) decided to come. Lets call him M. He is jewish and and went to a Christian party thing so it was unexpected but he is kinda hot and waaaaay to crazy for me. So yea I am most certainly sure he is either gay or bi because of what happened during the tennis season. ok time for a mini story:

so almost every practice me and him would just sit on the bench and chill/talk about different things. And whenever we would finish talking he would stand up with a massive erection. omg he might be short but he is big. So i would always check it out but most of the time he wouldnt notice I could see it or he would try and find a way to hide it himself. and also whenever we would play I could always see him with a big one and he would be adjusting it. Maybe he is turned on by tennis lol aand not to mention he would always give me random hugs, but this was only when we were alone. Whenever the team was around he would completely change and talk about girls or something like that. stupid peer pressure.  so yea nothing beyond hugging and me staring at his doodle happened. and the occasional head on my shoulder whenever we went on the bus for away games. But im pretty sure my whole team is gay lol they all would hit on me. I got butt-slapped, felt up, and party-boyed constantly. And I was the most straight acting one on the team lol I also felt this one guys doodle by accident because we had fallen and my hand went right on it. It was so squishy lol too bad i also crushed his balls and he was on the floor dying for about 10 minutes lol good times. alright back to the original post.

So yea M came over to the party and it was really fun. I just talked to different people and then we had a devo (devotional) where we talk about things in the bible and relate it to our lives and the last question my teen leader asked was what is something you have been persistent in during your prayers (the theme of that devo was persistence) and I raised my hand and shared about my uncle and his condition and how ive been praying for him nonstop. many of them already knew about it but it was still very hard to talk about. while i was sharing about it I got this big lump in my throat and felt that I was gonna cry so I stopped what I was saying because well idk really. I am very insecure sometimes. so I stopped and after the devo was over I went and talked to one of the most wise men Ive met. He helped me out so much and I thank him for that. 

After we talked we watched the Lakers-Nuggets game (wasnt much of a game) and just hung out. It boiled down to me, M, Kellen (from earlier posts. he is now in a sling for 6 weeks after shoulder surgery. Hes now dubbed "the cripple" lol), my teen leader (it was at his house), Chad (from earlier posts too), Josiah (this kid can crack you up so quickly cuz of how witty yet dumb he is lol), and my friend Drake. We watched the game and ate ice-cream (its good for a sore throat) and were just laughing. I love my friends. After Kellen, Chad, and M left it was only me, Josiah, and Drake. We then switched it to playing Street Fighter 4 for the PS3. Just to put it out there, I SUCK at that game lol I can rock anyone at Tekken or the other ones but not Sreet Fighter 4. Stupid Ryu lol So Drake called his dad and asked if I could sleep over. He said yes and we left at about midnight. 

I went over to his house and we played a really old game called NBA Baller. During the loading screen they always show a player and this time they showed Chris Paul. Out of nowhere he says "thats a good looking guy." I say "Yeah he has a good smile." And then he says "Yeah he has nice eyes." In my head im thinking WTF are you saying Drake? I thought you were straight? Why would you say that? so then I replied with "Yup, hes a looker."  I was horrible at the beginning losing 11-4 or 11-6 but by the end of the night I had finally beat him! I found a way to make only 3 pointers and just dimolished him lol he wanted a rematch but I said no because I was tired and I wanted to bask in the gloriousness of a victory. Ok so now its bedtime. 

He only has one bed in his room so we share it. Its a queen size so we can both sleep comfortably. Or atleast I thought so. I wake up in the middle of the night with his butt pressed against my doodle and I just stay there. I manage to fall back asleep and when I wake up about an hour later his hand is on my doodle too. My hearts racing but i feel so calm. I gently move my arm over his body so it looked as though we were cuddling. Then I hear him wake up and he said "RJ what are you doing?" I was too scared to say anything so I just stay there in silence. He said hello again and pushed my hand back over, slid to the other side of the bed and fell back asleep. Mind you he was in only his boxers and I was in boxers and a t-shirt. Im so used to sleeping with him that I though nothing of it till now. Hes one of my best friends and is more like a younger brother to me. Hes 13. So i never thought of doing anything with him. I mean yea hes verrry attractive but I just always saw him as my brother. Maybe my brothers gay lol 

When I woke up he had already left his house because he had to do a parade. His mom dropped me off at my house on her way over there. I said I had to complete my homework but really Im here typing this. I will see him later today because were going to go see a movie. Me, him, and Chad. I'll see if I want to talk to him about it. Wish me luck and I'll c ya latuh. pyce

DANG THIS WAS A LONG POST. HOPE YOU ENJOY IT THOUGH :)

A Quickie McQuickerstein

This is just a quick post of two videos that I think are really funny if youre into movies (as I am a movie buff). The links are here for the curious case of forrest gump and here for star trek vs. star wars.  hope you enjoy :)

btw, I am completely sick with a sore throat, massive headache, and upset tummy :( 

I'm gonna go back to sleep after I post this. horray for pepto dissmal and advenol and of course excrutiatingly hot iced tea. thanks guys for all the help :P (dont know if anyone is gonna get that... I really dont even get that lol) the glorious deeds of meds

Return of Me Part 3

A third and still just as personal event that has been happening is the area of... my brain. I dont know why I am really telling anyone this when all the people who know are immediate family members and a few, select, friends. Ok so its messed the *@!^ up, so much. Im not sure if its from the  smoking I used to do (I quick about a year ago cuz of how stupid it is) or if its just because, but its messed up big time. 

So here's why. I have all the symptoms of a brain tumor, but no tumor. My nuerologist doesnt know whats wrong and hes one of the smartest people Ive met. Because of my brain I became dysfunctional at times. I cant concentrate druring scholl and socially I have become more awkward. I have develpoed a slight stutter, a lisp (both sporadically so not too often) and whenever I hear someone with a speech impediment I begin to pick it up too for however long i spend time with them. It can be funny at times though but ill tell you that story later. So this causes me to almost never want to speak and when I do want to it doesnt come out how I want it to. I went from class clown to the quite, wierd, n sometimes funny kid. I still have all my friends (popularity sucks btw) but I just cant talk to them as well as I used to. And its not that I dont want to its just that I have nothing to say... ever. But on aim or email its different. Idk why though. My mind goes blank when its just me and someone wlse. I wish I could be more normal again. All the things in my brain have happened over the past year.

Ok quick story before I move on. So one of my friends moved up here from Texas and he pronounces all of his "s's" as "sh's". Like "promish, or cryshtal" lol its the funniest thing and I would always joke about it with him and mimic him until one day I said "Can I have shome of that." I thought to myself... o crap, you did not just say that lol. And every one in a while I say words with sh's but I get a good laugh out of it lol I wonder if I moved to another country would it b easy for me to pick up there accents because I am really good at doing accents. alrighty back to venting lol

The fourth one is just focused on my brother, J. He is a very talented, smart, and funny kid (or man, he just turned 18). I look up to him on  lot of things and give him respect for what he can do. He once made my whole school die in laughter by improving at out school talent show. It was one of the funniest things I've ever seen lol He is very well known and people look for him to get a good laugh. But thats not the brother I see at home and Im worried for him. At home he just roams the house and plays his guitar. He almost never talks to any of us (my family) anymore and looks as if hes in chronic depression. 

Just last week my mom and him were watching tv and all of a sudden he starts crying. My mom asked him what was going on in his life and tried helping him but he didnt tell her anything about it. After she picked me up from church, she started crying and told me the whole story followed by a "Can you talk to your brother because he wont tell me why hes been so down... please." I felt so bad I had the urge to cry and then mopped around my house because I just didnt want another thing on my plate. I wish life was as simple as when we were young. No responsibility and your actions are not taken heavily, life is almost care free and a breath of fresh air. Too bad reality is real. Too bad lifes a rollercoaster. 

O n as im typing this I have a realllllly sore throat *cough cough* so *cough* I may not be *cough* posting for a *cought* bit. It reallllllllly hurts a lot, like a lot a lot. k well ill c ya latuh. pyce

Return of Me Part 2

Ok so the next reason I havent been on lately is just as personal as the first. I have been noticing so many people dying around me and it scares me. I want to live a full life but I have had this feeling that I am going to die early in some tragic way ever since I can remember. technically all death is tragic though. Anyway, all the deaths that Ive been seeing have truly affected me and gotten me thinking so much about life and how important it is. Its got me to the point were I really feel the need to be the perfect friend and son, brother and overall person because I get one shot at each. I know this is unreasonable but emotions are emotions. And the emotions I have towards me dying early only scare me more. The sad thing is that almost all the people who have died lately have died from cancer. I CANNOT STAND THAT WORD! It makes me so sad to hear when people are diagnosed with cancer and I cant help them. I think to myself if I will ever get it and if thats the way Im gonna go. I never want to die painfully but I fell like thats how its going to end up being. Im just glad I have the friends that would support me and ecourage me if that was to happen. Im just not sure if theyd do the same if I came out. Does that make them true friends? I guess only putting it into practice will tell. 

So one of the people that I have been most affected by who has cancer is my uncle. He was just recently diagnosed with Stage 4  cancer. He feels fine now and his body is staying minorly strong but I know that once the cancer gets stronger he wont have much time. I just wish I couldve spent more time with him. Hes the one who taught me how to fight and be strong no matter what. He is one of the strongest people I know. I will forever look up to him and I will always love him. I just hope I can visit him before it gets worse. Another person I am affected by who has cancer is the blogger AJ. I began reading his blog by about the 5th post and I have been obssessed ever since. He seems like such a fun guy and Im glad he got to meet K. K seems amazing too. They are great bloggers and tell their life stories in such a great way that I will always have a place for them in my heart. However, AJ getting diagnosed with cancer has shocked me and has caused me to really cherrish life and I want to thank him for that - so thank you so much AJ. 

Yea I kinda reread this post Im definitely odd lol Im so freakin paranoid at times but il let you know why in the next post. c ya till then... dun dun dun

Return of Me Part 1

Ok so I havent posted in a while so this is why. Not like I have many followers anyways but I just have to get this stuff off my chest. I will be posting this in three parts. Part 1 is this. I have so many things going on in my life right now. I want to first start off by saying that I should be grateful for everything that has been given to me and all that I'm blessed with but honestly its hard to see it that way. I've been living a life so two-faced and deciectful that I should be disgusted, but Im not. And I wish I did but at times I just dont have a heart. So why have I been so two-faced? I am supposed to be a Christian and live a life of truth but I have been ignoring the truth to who I really am. I may come off as straight but I am bi. This is something that no one knows of except one of my friends and the only reason she knows was because I told her after she came out of the closet to me. I was so afraid to come out even on the net and thats where I can be whoever I want. So why haven't I came out? Because Im afraid that people will judge me or my relationships with friends wil change dramatically. People arent always as accepting as we want them to be. Thats whu I try to be as open-minded as possible. Living a life as someone youre not can be so discouraging and such a burden that it will eventually lead to something severe happening in the long run. Let it be a stress induced body pain, or a type of depression, or going mentally ill, to suicide.

Life can suck sometimes but we only get one shot so why waste it? I think people hear this a lot and it just becomes sort of cliche and just gets blown over but if you really start to think about it, hard, it can be very deep. A good way to live your life is to treat people as if today was there last and live your life as if it was your last day too. This is something I am trying to work on.

So yes I am bi but I just cant seem to find the strength to come out. Its mainly because Im content with  the way the social part of my life is and this would completely tear it all up. wow im insecure lol. So say I did come out to my parents... they would probably be shocked then confused then theyd talk about it with eachother before bringing me in to probably have a LONG discussion. My parents (especially my dad) are very professional about things. And for me to come out would allow them to have a lot of Q&A's lined up. Now I dont have the best connection to my parents because I keep things bottled up (thats what being shy does to you). I would love to tell them but I will have to wait for the right time. I hate having to keep all of this in me but I need more time and confidence. Boy do I wish life was easier. It would be so much better if I was straight, but Im not so I have to deal with who I really am. 

I quickly want to add that I am also returning because Ive been watching how many people are leaving the blogging world and I felt kinda in the dumps so I decided to jump into the game. I am in no way trying to take any of their places because I am waaay less of a blogger than they are. They are amazing at what they do. But I simply wanted to give people something to read while they asses themselves and take that sabbatical. well i'll c ya latuh. pyce