Life can suck sometimes but we only get one shot so why waste it? I think people hear this a lot and it just becomes sort of cliche and just gets blown over but if you really start to think about it, hard, it can be very deep. A good way to live your life is to treat people as if today was there last and live your life as if it was your last day too. This is something I am trying to work on.
So yes I am bi but I just cant seem to find the strength to come out. Its mainly because Im content with the way the social part of my life is and this would completely tear it all up. wow im insecure lol. So say I did come out to my parents... they would probably be shocked then confused then theyd talk about it with eachother before bringing me in to probably have a LONG discussion. My parents (especially my dad) are very professional about things. And for me to come out would allow them to have a lot of Q&A's lined up. Now I dont have the best connection to my parents because I keep things bottled up (thats what being shy does to you). I would love to tell them but I will have to wait for the right time. I hate having to keep all of this in me but I need more time and confidence. Boy do I wish life was easier. It would be so much better if I was straight, but Im not so I have to deal with who I really am.
I quickly want to add that I am also returning because Ive been watching how many people are leaving the blogging world and I felt kinda in the dumps so I decided to jump into the game. I am in no way trying to take any of their places because I am waaay less of a blogger than they are. They are amazing at what they do. But I simply wanted to give people something to read while they asses themselves and take that sabbatical. well i'll c ya latuh. pyce
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4 comments:
I've always tried to make U feel welcome and to help you get as involved as you want to in our little bi and gay blogging community.
Here, as you know, not everyone is gay although most are and we do rather chide anyone who isn't at least friendly and understanding about being gay.
So from there I think you know that you can talk to any of us about being gay and growing up gay and coming out to friends, relatives, parents et al - about being gay.
There are also those hereabouts who will urge you not to come out at all. Ever. This is largely because they do not have the courage themselves but occasionally it is because they think it may be sinful to do anything about one's sexuality.
I say sexuality is a gift from God and to deny it or to try to subvert it into something it is not, is sinful. Got did not make us different, make us bisexual and gay so that we could deny his handiwork and betray his confidence in us.
But you know what I think. I am happy for anyone who has their God - just don't give me church-organised bigotry.
But fo ryur own sake,please - try to be glad to be gay - if nothing else.
RJ — I don't think you should feel that you are living a lie by not coming out to the world. Your sexuality is your own business. (I think we need more of a sense of privacy and respect for others' privacy.) Just be yourself. It's not for us to tell you to come out or not to come out. If you feel ready to come out sometime, fine. If you are more comfortable in the closet, fine. Once you're out, you are out for good to everybody who knows it. While you're in the closet, you always have the option of coming out later. And it's not all or nothing. If there are people you are *sure* will keep a confidence, you can be out to them.
The question is always whether you think it would make things better or worse for you if you were out. From what you've said, it seems to me that you would be safe coming out to your parents. It sounds as if they'd be accepting, but have lots of questions, so maybe you'd like to tell them. Apart from that it sounds as if for now, you're better off in the closet. Things may change when you go to college/graduate/move away/or have some other major change in your situation.
Good luck.
You need never feel pressured to come out if you don't feel comfortable. You've already made a big step in the right direction by acknowledging your feelings, and thinking about things going on in your life.
Unfortunately, coming out does have its drawbacks, negative consequences and the like. I guess its something you have to weigh against the positive results, the weight being lifted, your burden and stress being lightened.
It is a tough choice, and I, nor anyone else, can give you the definite answer. But again, don't let yourself go crazy over it - just go with the flow.
*hugs*
I very much relate to what you have said. There is so much I could say:
1) I waited until I was 30 to come out. What a waste of time!! I wish I had come out in high school.
2) I am a Christian too, and before I came out, I was part of the unaccepting variety.
3) Everything DID change when I came out. I lost my Christian friends. I was thrown out of my church. My job was threatened.
4) Despite that, I wouldn't change it for the world. I now belong to a Christian church of the accepting variety (they ARE out there!!!). I am out, and fully accepted. Through this, I learned that there is more than just 1 way to be a Christian. That is such an important thing to learn.
5) I have new friends and many friends who I was not close to before became closer because they were accepting. I learned who my real friends were.
6) I fell in love. We have been together for 6 years. It took such a long time for me to learn that I can't do that in the closet.
My encouragement to you is to be who you are. You have the strength, even if you don't know it. Everything WILL change. And it will be OK.
Final bit: if there is a chance that your parents could throw you out of the house, do not come out to them until you are independent. While you can survive such a thing, it isn't something I would wish on anyone.
Cheers,
Aron
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